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View Profile SmolSpearrow
Im a birb! I like drawing cute giant girls and stuff so feel free to enjoy, also check me out on DeviantArt and Twitter

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My Journey In Art

Posted by SmolSpearrow - November 25th, 2020


Hello everyone, I recently wanted to reflect over my journey in art, its been... weird... really, art has taken so many things from me in order to draw, skill, improvement, round about everything, and I look back at my work, my old work, to see that Ive improved so much over 2020... and I have no idea what to make of it, obviously, its good that I improved but its what I improved from which scares me, my old art... and lately I just wanted to take a deep look at it, I wasn't able to draw very well over those months, my skills were off, my anatomy was off, I couldnt make my colours look good, I became sick and ill, and tired and depressed off all of it, and art was no longer fun for me, whether its because I drew too much, or if it was because I wasnt good enough in my eyes, was really something I couldnt fathom, it was gnawing at me everyday "I need to do better" or "this doesnt look good", so I got down, and put myself through hell just to try and do better, and I didnt find my work fun... I found art to be miserable, gruelling, depressing, every day I was just like "oh, Im gonna make another bad piece and its gonna look shit" or "Im a bad artist" and I feel like I still made bad art all those months ago, and I was desperate, on my knees for help, so I decided to just deal with it, those miserable month of working myself unhealthily took their toll, but I eventually... I eventually started making art I liked... but what scares me is, those months before, they were hell for me, working on something I hated, and I questioned it so much, why? why did I do this? I wanted to draw well obviously but the fact that I wasnt and the fact that I constantly felt shit about myself makes me wonder if putting myself through all that was right... Im happy for where I am now, but where I came from terrifies me... a good artist, forged from whatever those months ago were, I suppose the past however is the past, we cant change whats done, and the past is irrelevant, so, with my newfound skills, Im going to continue art, and do it less, and have more fun with it, I should be glad Ive improved, but as an artist I feel scared as well because of my past work, those ideas weren't forged well, and I worry... those years were my worst, Im in the clear now, but how do I feel?... I wish I knew the answer to that question


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Comments (1)

So... you started drawing things, you didn't liked it, but you continued doing it until you got better at drawing without noticing? That's really weird actually, but I'm glad you made it through all of that; feel free to leave it once in a while if you think it is stressing, in my opinion, you don't have to draw if you don't want to, keep that in mind.

I can relate with ur history, but in my point of view it was like "oh god, i drew something, ima post it right away.... wait, this looks bad.. hmm yeah, this is bullshit, I'm gonna destroy it and never post it on the internet so I'm never gonna get better at it with others opinions". And still I've never posted anything yet, hehe.

Anyways, you are good at making art, we appreciate your big amount of effort :^)

Also I don't really speak English in case something doesn't make any sense lololol

Nah dont worry that was very well typed actually lol, and yeah the journey was really, really hard, ironically through out it, I was my worst enemy